This Summer, I had the honor of attending a retreat for mothers from around the country, as part of a year-long commitment to a Motherworthy group I meet with weekly, online. This was my first trip away from my son Shaye, and my first time to North Carolina. I absolutely loved it! The weekend was relaxed and meaningful, and Shaye did great at home with Dada and Gramma Ummie. I led a simple rite of passage ritual for the group that was as powerful as I'd hoped.
Departing and still upon return, I find myself in close quarters with grief. Grief about how over-full life is. Grief about finally committing to weaning, of that rushed airport morning being his last "num num" for the rest of his life. Grief about everyone I love aging, and time passing. Grief about how much precious time has been lost to fear, worry, managing. Grief about violence on all levels and the state of the world. I wished to leave all that grief behind, then in classic "Emily" style found myself holding space for others to grieve. Though I left those mountains feeling so, so blessed, I still left with grief close by, like an overly friendly shadow always by my side.
I am lucky enough to...