On Early Spring & Belonging

The plum blossoms and magnolia blooms are stunning this year! I find myself between worlds, seduced by their innocent beauty, and the quiet promise of another fire season ahead. I dwell between these worlds often, grieving for present and future time. I was like this before becoming a mom, but it's certainly amplified now that the "next generation" is in my arms.

My son Shaye's eyes are healed (after a 9 month illness and surgery in November), and shortly after a baby I was expecting in July became an angel. Life really is just, all the things. The ol' "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" idea has really been working for me ;-)

It seems, between the brokenness and the mending, is our life...

As author Toko-pa writes, "Only from such a place of loss and longing can we begin remembering ourselves home." Are we willing to belong to this, this gorgeous messiness of life? Are we willing to restore, on a daily basis, the discipline it takes to stay present, perhaps our greatest service.

As this new "Year of the Metal Rat" begins, I am going to try dreaming small for a change, that I may feel the blessing of a life more slowly lived. I am wishing you, dear ones, strength and focus in the small, steady, day to day good work we do, and renewed faith in our collective awakening - for the benefit of all beings.

All my love,
Mama Emily

"Life will break you.
Nobody can protect you from that,
and living alone won't either, for solitude will also break you
with its yearning.
You have to love.
You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here
on earth.
You are here to risk your heart. You are here
to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left,
or hurt
or death brushes near,
let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples
falling
all around you in heaps,
wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."
- Louise Erdrich